


We've Got Time

by steveandbucky



Series: Ace!Bucky Verse [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Asexual Bucky, Asexual Character, Asexuality, Bisexual Steve, Cuddling & Snuggling, Established Relationship, Fluff, Honesty, Kissing, Late Night Conversations, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, No Smut, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Relationship Discussions, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, implied/referenced homophobia and acephobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 21:15:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5390717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandbucky/pseuds/steveandbucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky learn more about each other through intimate late-night conversations, hot showers and unexpected massages, a ridiculous amount of kissing and cuddling, and finally, by having an open, honest discussion about their relationship. AKA a long list of non-sexual intimacies and a whole lot of tooth-rotting fluff.</p><p>The sequel to this <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/4953772/chapters/11374138">meeting online/ace!bucky fic</a> literally everyone asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We've Got Time

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes/minor warnings:  
> a) There is a brief, non-explicit mention of a past unpleasant first-time experience (it is consensual and not traumatic in any way)  
> b) There's a non-explicit conversation about sex and their attitudes towards it.  
> c) I'd say it'd be better if you read the previous fic before reading this, so it makes more sense (also because it's all cute and fluffy things, so why not? :D). If you don't though, this ficlet still makes sense on its own. 
> 
> Major thanks to my bae [Kat](http://worthystevie.tumblr.com/) for helping me out with this!  
> 

 

 

 

Bucky lies on his stomach with his arms wrapped around the pillow, facing Steve, who’s curled on his side. There isn’t anywhere else he’d rather be, anyone else he’d rather be with than Steve, the two of them holding each other’s gaze while they talk in whispers in the darkness. There’s some light from the lamp posts outside seeping through the curtains, but nothing else to illuminate the room. They’d turned off the lights about half an hour ago, with the intention of going to sleep, but ended up lying under the blankets and talking in hushed tones, swapping secrets and life stories.

“How’d you come out to your mother?”

“Ah,” Steve lets out a small, quiet laugh. “I just went to her one day and told her I had a crush on a boy. I was only sixteen then. Hadn’t even thought about it, didn’t think it was a big deal. I was like, so what, it’s just a crush.”

“Dumbass,” Bucky jokes, and earns a ticklish poke to his ribs in response. He laughs, a soft sound escaping his mouth.

“I told you, I didn’t really know I wasn’t straight. I still liked girls, you know? But anyway, she was cool about it, just acted like she normally would if it was a girl I was crushing on. It just made it easier to actually come out when I finally figured it out.”

“That’s nice,” Bucky murmurs. “I wish my mother had been so chill about it.”

Steve hums in response, wordlessly prompting Bucky to continue. “She just started crying when I told her, like she was genuinely upset. This was just a few years back, when I thought well, maybe it’s time I tell them. And my dad, he wasn’t so responsive about it, but – I don’t know. I feel like he was kind of disappointed in me.”

“That sucks, Buck, I’m sorry,”

Bucky shrugs slightly. “It’s okay. I didn’t even tell them about my lack of sexual attraction. God knows what they’d do then, probably tell me I need to go see a doctor.”

Steve scowls angrily. “Fuck that,”

Bucky lets out a little laugh, and lets go of the pillow, shifting them around so Steve’s lying on his back, and he can rest his head on the man’s ridiculously broad, muscled chest, throwing an arm around his ridiculously narrow waist. “It’s fine. I mean it kind of sucked for a while, but I learned to deal with it. Don’t expect me to be too eager to introduce you to my family, though I’d like it if you met my sister, Becca. She’s the only one who’s been supportive. I think she might be the whole reason we met.”

“Really?” Steve asks, surprise evident in his voice. “How come?”

"Only reason I signed up on the website was because she made me, always bugging me to start dating again and bla bla. I wasn’t all that hopeful I’d meet someone actually.”

There’s a small smile tugging at the corners of Steve’s mouth when he says, “How come you messaged me then?”

“Well, they sent me this reminder email with a bunch of random matches, like, hello, why are you being inactive, and I thought, fuck it, I’m deleting my profile since I never use it." Bucky leans up on his elbows to grin at his boyfriend. "Then I went on the website and I just had a look around and there you were, being all cute and gorgeous. I didn’t message you to ask you out, you know. I just thought, this guy is fucking adorable, I need to tell him that.”

“If I recall correctly,” Steve says dryly, “You messaged me and told me my _dogs_ were adorable,”

Bucky crinkles his nose at him. “Well, they are. More so than you.” He says, and because he’s a mature adult, pokes his tongue out at Steve.

Steve laughs heartily, his whole face lighting up. “I’m so glad you did, though. I wasn’t gonna bother with it either. It’s my mum who convinced me to sign up, but I wasn’t so optimistic about it.”

“You know, it’s kind of hard to believe that you’d need a dating website to meet people. ‘Cause, well, you’ve got this whole thing going on,” Bucky says, gesturing Steve’s body up and down. “And the fact that you’re kind of a really wonderful person.”

The compliment makes the blond smile and look away, a blush colouring his cheeks. He opens his mouth to speak up and closes it again, then turns to look meet Bucky’s gaze again. “I’m not that good at flirting with strangers, I get all flustered and awkward. Women, specifically, I find it easier with men,” Steve admits quietly, and it surprises Bucky; they’d built a good rapport between them when they started talking on the website, playfully flirting back and forth whenever they texted.

Steve licks his lips and goes on to elaborate, “I think it was nice talking to you and getting to know you, I felt more comfortable going on a first date with you. And like I said, it was nice knowing you weren’t only interested in all this,” he mirrors Bucky’s previous motion and gestures at his own body. “Anyway, you’re one to talk. Look at you, you’re gorgeous,”

He shakes his head, smiling as he blushes; he lets Steve press their lips together, closes his eyes and sighs into the kiss. “So maybe it was a total coincidence that I stumbled on to your profile that day, huh?” he whispers.

“That, or fate. Maybe you’re my true soulmate, Bucky-Bear.”

Bucky groans, giving him a shove and calling him a sap, and Steve starts laughing again, pulling him close for a kiss. Bucky sighs and lies down again, resuming his previous position, nestling comfortably on top of his boyfriend. They fall silent for a while, their breathing being the only sounds heard in the room.

“Hey, how’d you lose your virginity? If you don’t mind me asking,”

Steve breathes out a sigh. “No, I don’t mind. It was a cliché of the clichés, prom night after graduation, with my girlfriend at the time. It was so awkward, she was more experienced than I was, and I was just…I was so awkward.”

Bucky huffs out a laugh. “Well, can’t be as bad as the first handsome stranger you come across first week of college.”

“ _Bucky._ Really?”

He shifts so that he’s lying on top of Steve and meets his gaze, their mostly bare bodies pressed together from shoulder to toe. “Yeah, it was a guy named Jake who I knew for maybe two hours. Met at a party, started flirting, the whole deal.”

Steve hums quietly before he asks, “Why didn’t you wait for someone special?”

“’Cause I was eighteen and stupid,” he says with an unamused smile. “I wanted to see what all the hype was about. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience. Kind of regretted it afterwards.”

Bucky bites his lip and places his head on Steve's chest, avoiding eye contact. It’s been nearly a decade and he’s over it now, but he’s happier keeping the details of that story to himself for the time being.

Jake had been a gorgeous guy, with warm eyes and an easy smile; he’d been witty and charming, and kissed him like the world was ending the next day and having his hands all over Bucky was the only thing he wanted. And it’d been fun, kissing and touching and giggling while they undressed, and Bucky had been nervous and awkward and sloppy, and maybe all they’d have done was blown each other and called it a night if Bucky hadn’t insisted on going all the way.

Then he’d lain in the too narrow bed, feeling entirely unsatisfied and more than a little ashamed. His stomach had started swirling with nausea while he’d cried, being comforted in the arms of a man who was essentially a stranger. Jake had been a little puzzled, started asking what’s wrong, worrying at Bucky’s reaction; he’d been the first person to whom Bucky confessed about his lack of interest in sex.

It’d been a stupid mistake, but he’d learned from it and moved on.

In the present, Steve drags his fingers through the short curls of Bucky’s soft hair, his touch gentle and soothing. “Eighteen-year-old-you was a bit of an idiot,” he says, a teasing hint evident in his tone; he doesn't sound judgmental, or pitying, which Bucky is glad for, but there’s a concerned crease between his thick eyebrows, showing he cares about Bucky’s wellbeing above all else. “Didn’t that turn you off sex completely?”

“For a while, yeah. I tried it, I hated it and I thought well that’s that, then. But it’s not like I’ve only had bad experiences with it,” Bucky sighs. “If I love someone, and trust them and feel close to them emotionally, then it’s different. It can be kind of nice…”

“Mm, I know what you mean.” Steve lets out a long breath, then changes the subject. “Anyway, eighteen-year-old-me was a bit of an idiot too, I guess. For other reasons.”

“Why, what’d you do?” Bucky looks up at him and grins cheekily, making Steve roll his eyes at him, feigning annoyance at Bucky’s amusement.

“I was kinda reckless, picking fights every now and again. Or probably more often than that, if you ask Sam or Peggy. Even though Peggy’s just as bad. She punched out two guys in first year who were being too handsy with her, and then everyone was fucking terrified of her.”

Bucky chuckles. “Yeah, I get that vibe from her. So what about you, why were you going around punching people?”

“I had very good reasons, I assure you,” Steve says, voice firm and eyebrows knitted together with that self-righteous determination he gets when he talks about injustices and people being treated unfairly. Bucky loves that about him, but on one occasion he’d called Steve ‘adorable’ and Steve’s face had turned into a petulant ‘I’m-not-adorable-I’m-big-and-tough’ sort of scowl, so now he bites back a smile, waiting for Steve to elaborate.

“I didn’t just go around beating people up. I wanted to stand up for people, protect them from asshole frat guys, and I wasn’t very good at controlling my impulses.”

“Hmm,” Bucky smirks at him. “If only there was something in your head that could have been useful for controlling such impulses.”

“My brain is functioning perfectly fine, for your information – wait, are you calling me brainless? You jerk!” Steve cries out, punching him on the shoulder lightly, and Bucky starts laughing, his whole body shaking with it.

“I’m kidding, Stevie,” Bucky kisses him on the nose to get him to smile. “I’ll definitely be asking Sam or Peggy for stories, though. You knew them in college?”

“Yeah, I met Peggy in first year, and we kind of became best friends right away. And Sam was my roommate in third and fourth year.”

Bucky nods. “You have a big group of friends.”

“Well,” Steve says, tilting his head to one side. “We kind of picked up people along the way, I guess. By the way, you gonna get off me anytime soon? You’re crushing me,”

The brunet gasps, but slides off to lie next to him anyway. “You could literally bench press me, you asshole,”

Steve lets out a soft giggle, turning to lie on his side again. “I don’t think I could, actually, I haven’t been to the gym in over a year,”

“Yeah, yeah, beefcake, be modest all you want.”

Steve grins and presses his face close to the man’s neck, trailing soft kisses along it, extending to his shoulder and collarbone. Bucky sighs happily, cherishing the gentle affection his boyfriend is showering him with, then tips his head down to capture the man’s lips in a soft, chaste kiss.

He yawns suddenly, and tucks himself closer to his human radiator of a boyfriend.

“You sleepy, honey?”

“Mm,” Bucky yawns again. “I think so. Tell me about how you met your friends another time?”

“Yeah, Buck, definitely. G’night,” Steve drops a kiss to his forehead and Bucky sighs happily. He falls asleep pretty soon after that, while Steve plays with his hair soothingly and keeps him safe and warm in his arms.

 

~~

 

Before he even approaches the bathroom, Steve can hear him singing at the top of his lungs and it makes him smile. Bucky’s voice is deep and smooth, a complete contrast to the singer’s original rendition; he’s surprised to find out how well Bucky is able to carry a tune. He knocks on the door once, twice, and gets no response so he opens the door and pokes his head around.

“Buck?”

The singing stops immediately. The curtain pulls back just a little and Bucky’s head comes into view, his short, shampooed hair sticking up every which way. “Hi there,” he grins.

“You mind if I brush my teeth while you shower?”

“Sure,” the brunet replies and disappears behind the curtain again. “You gonna shower?”

“Yeah, when you finally decide you’re done,” Steve quips.

“Or you could just join me,” Bucky offers casually. Steve freezes with the toothbrush in his mouth, as Bucky continues to say, “I can’t promise not to use up all the hot water.”

When there’s no response, Bucky pokes his head out again. “What?” he asks, an amused smirk twitching his lips.

Steve mumbles something incoherent in response, toothbrush still in his mouth.

“Come on, Steve, it’s just a shower.”

Hesitantly, Steve finishes brushing and strips out of his clothes, folding them on top of the laundry basket. He pulls back the curtain and steps inside the bathtub, and tries to keep his gaze at eye-level when Bucky turns around to face him. _This is fine. There’s no need to be nervous,_ he tells himself, _we’ve seen each other naked all the time when we change. This isn’t even sexual. It’s fine._

“Hey,” Bucky says, voice soft. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Steve breathes out. “Just, this. It’s new,”

Bucky hums in agreement, then places his hands on Steve’s hips and switches places between them so Steve’s under the water spray. Steve closes his eyes and sighs as he lets the hot water wash over him, and suddenly Bucky’s hands are in his hair, lathering it with shampoo and massaging his scalp with gentle fingers.

Then he steps closer and presses his lips to Steve’s shoulder and asks, “This okay?”

Steve lets out a content sigh. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Why? I asked you to join me, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but-” his sentence is cut off by a moan when Bucky’s soapy hands move on to his shoulders and start massaging them, a firm but gentle pressure digging into his muscles. He curses under his breath and Bucky laughs.

“I take that to mean you’re enjoying this?” he asks, pressing his thumbs under the blonde’s big shoulder blades, working through the kinks and knots. “You’re fucking tense, by the way. You need to get massages more often.”

“Well, if you’re volunteering,” Steve turns his head and catches the brunet’s eyes, grinning at him.

Bucky chuckles. “Maybe I am. Not to brag, but I’m really good at this.”

“Ah, your infinite modesty,” Steve turns around and wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist to pull him close and press a kiss to his lips. “You really are, but the water’s going cold.”

They continue to wash themselves in silence, hurrying up a little so as not to end up rinsing off with ice-cold water. They dry off in the bathroom and get dressed in Steve’s bedroom, and Steve heads to the kitchen to start making them scrambled eggs for breakfast, while Bucky starts working on the fancy home espresso machine. Steve's mother had given it to him after she’d given up caffeine and didn’t use it anymore, but Steve barely used it himself since he hasn’t figured it out yet. Bucky had laughed and called him a grandpa when he’d found out, then spent half an hour tinkering with it, looking up a couple of tutorials and produced two wonderful lattes, so he took over that responsibility whenever he stayed at Steve’s place.

After he’s done with his breakfast, Bucky looks up and beams at him with an excited glint in his eye and asks, “Do you wanna go buy some bath bombs and have a bubble bath sometime?”

Steve stares at him unblinking for a moment. “Yeah?” he says, but the uncertainty in his voice makes it sound more like a question.

Bucky’s face falls. “Um. I thought it might be fun.”

“Yeah,” Steve says. He clears his throat. “I’m – yeah, I want to do that, definitely. I’m just… not, uh, I didn’t know whether you’d be comfortable with that sort of thing. I mean, now I know, obviously, but, uh…”

“That sort of thing,” Bucky repeats, the corners of his mouth twitching like he’s trying to fight back a smile. “You mean being naked together?”

Steve looks away, feeling his whole face heat up. “Yeah,”

Bucky is full on grinning now. “Well, okay. That’s fair. But I am, yeah. Are you?”

Steve nods.

“It isn’t- it doesn’t have to be sexual, you know? Showering or bathing together,” Bucky says then, in a much quieter tone of voice. “At least not for me.”

Steve nods again, and smiles as he reaches across the table to link his hand with Bucky’s. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Bucky gives him a smile back, albeit looking a bit strained, and the subject drops.

 

~~

 

Bucky’s barely paying attention to whatever movie is playing on the TV at this point, he’s not even sure what the plot is really, something about a man and a woman and half a dozen rom-com clichés. Instead he’s petting Lilo, who is curled up on the floor near the couch, and occasionally stealing glances at Steve, who’s busy sketching out greeting card ideas, trying to decide on a few good ones to illustrate the following day. It’s a cold Sunday in early December, which means he wouldn’t be working normally, but he has a deadline coming up soon. Still, Bucky likes spending the day with him even if they’re not doing anything together.

Steve pokes him in the ribs with his foot and Bucky looks up to see his boyfriend watching him with a small smile. “You’re glaring at the TV,”

Bucky frowns at him. “I’m not,”

“Yeah, you are,” Steve quips, then goes back to his sketchbook. “What’s on your mind?”

Bucky lets out a sigh. He’s been quiet all day, ever since their conversation in the morning; Steve had to have picked up on that. “Just…thinking about stuff. About us, I guess,” he mumbles.

“Yeah?” Steve asks, worry evident in his tone, despite the obvious attempt to sound casual. “What about us?”

Bucky hates himself a little for the thoughts he’s having, the passing moments of doubts, but he can’t help that he feels insecure sometimes. It doesn’t make it easy to talk about what’s bothering him; Steve will undoubtedly be upset him.

He throws his head back on the armrest and sighs. “I guess, I don’t know, it’s something I might never get used to,” he says finally, struggling to sort out a proper sentence. “I just don’t want things to be awkward between us, you know?”

Steve is looking at him now, a blank expression on his face. “No,” he says simply.

Bucky sighs in frustration. “Sorry. My head’s all over the place right now. I’m talking about what happened this morning. You were acting kind of…awkward.”

Steve nods, but doesn't reply.

Bucky picks up the remote and switches the TV off, sitting up so he’s at eye-level with Steve. “I thought it was okay for us to do that together. It’s kind of nice, actually, but then I started thinking, well, have you thought about us… you know, about having sex,”

“You’ve asked me that before.”

“I mean, since we started dating. Do you still think about it?”

There’s a beat of silence and Steve looks down at his sketchbook, and Bucky already knows the answer.

“Sometimes,” Steve mumbles, a slight blush colouring his cheeks. He looks up and smiles sheepishly, and that smile alone is enough to ease some of the tension in his stomach, push away his worries just a little.

“But why are you asking me again?"

“Well,” Bucky sighs. “It’s just that I know you want that, and-”

“But I don’t want it.” Steve cuts him off. “I’d want to, sure, if you did too, but I don't _need_ it. I have a passing thought every now and again, that's all,” he says with a shrug. “We talked about this, right? You don't have to worry about it, Buck.”

The brunet gets up from the couch and starts pacing barefoot in the living room, running a hand through his hair. He shrugs and doesn’t look at Steve when he says, “You can’t say you don’t want it and then admit that you think about it. It means you have... you have your needs, or whatever,"

Steve throws his head back, scrubbing his face with both hands. “It’s not about that, Buck. I’m perfectly capable of getting myself off. It’s not about the physical thing... It’s like...” he trails off, looking up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression on his face. “You get horny every once in a while, right?” Steve asks, meeting him in the eye.

Bucky nods, eyebrows knitted together. “Yeah,”

“Well, I do, too. Just out of the blue, like my dick has a mind of its own,” Steve smiles a little. “And I love you, you know, so I think about you, about us together like that. I’m not gonna fantasize about a random stranger. But still, it’s not like I need it, okay? It’s just a thought and then it passes and that’s that.”

Bucky nods again, because, yeah, he understands, on some level. It’s logical, it makes sense. He sighs again, shuffles from foot to foot.

“But then I tell you hey let’s shower together or hey let’s take a bath together and suddenly you’re all awkward about it…like we can’t do that together without it leading to something else?”

Steve shakes his head. He puts his sketchbook down and gets to his feet, walking around the coffee table to stand in front of his boyfriend. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I never… I never kiss you, or… or touch you with that intent, I promise. I just, I wanna be careful. I don't want to do anything that’ll make you uncomfortable.”

“You won’t,” Bucky says, his tone matching Steve’s, and a shaky smile playing on his lips. He steps closer and puts his arms around the man’s neck, holding him close and pressing their cheeks together. “You don’t, Stevie, I’m sorry,”

“No, no, Buck, you don’t have to apologise. It’s my fault, I’m sorry I got awkward,” Steve squeezes him tight before pulling him back towards the couch. “Come on,”

Steve covers them with the blanket and holds Bucky close to him, running his fingers through the man’s hair. “You know how you said you worried it’d get in the way of our relationship?” he asks as he drops a kiss to his forehead.

Bucky nods, his nose brushing against Steve’s neck as he does.

“It’s only if we let it, Buck. And I don’t think we should.”

“You’re right, God, you’re always right,” he mumbles in a somewhat petulant tone and Steve laughs quietly. “I guess I’m still getting used to being wired differently.”

Steve hums thoughtfully. “I get it, I think. You can talk to me about whatever bothers you, okay?”

Bucky leans up on his elbows to kiss him, smiling against Steve’s smooth, warm lips, then pulls back to meet his gaze. “It’s not like I’ve never thought about it, you know,” he murmurs.

“Thought about what?”

Bucky looks away, blushing a little.

“Oh,” Steve’s eyebrows shoot up, his expression twisting into something halfway between pleased and surprised. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” he quietly admits. “Just wondered what it’d be like. With you.”

Steve smiles as he gazes into his eyes fondly. “Well, we can probably find out at some point, if you're that curious,” he says, only a slight teasing hint in his tone.

“Tell me about it? What you think about?” Bucky brushes his nose against Steve's. “What kind of things you like,” he hums thoughtfully, then smirks. “Getting a blowjob, maybe?”

Steve chuckles. “Sure, who doesn’t? Giving, too.”

“Yeah? What about like, penetrative sex. D’you like to top or bottom?”

“Both, but I prefer to top. It’s nice to...” Steve trails off, his cheeks warming up with a tint of pink.

Bucky pokes him in his cheek. “Come on, if we can’t talk about it, then we can’t do it,” he says, giving Steve a pointed look, which Steve returns right back at him, raising a questioning eyebrow.

“Didn’t we just say-”

“Humour me, Steve.”

“Okay. Okay, sorry. I get shy about things like this.”

“Really, the guy who slept with half the people on his college campus?"

Steve lets out an actual high-pitched squeak in response. “I did not! Shut up!” he cries out, poking Bucky in his ribs, tickling him and making him giggle. “And that’s different, that was mostly meaningless...When it’s someone I care about...”

He doesn’t look at Bucky when he speaks, but Bucky doesn’t force him to make eye contact. He settles with his head on Steve’s chest and listens to his steady heartbeat while he talks.

“I like being inside someone,” Steve says finally. “It’s a lovely thing, being pressed together, as close as physically possible, when you can’t tell where your body ends and theirs begins,” he breathes out a quiet little sigh. “I like being intimate with someone I love. It’s not about getting each other off, more like being close together, kissing, touching, taking care of someone, making them feel good. I like that.”

Bucky looks up at him and smiles, the nerves in his stomach easing away. “I think I’d like to do that with you. Maybe you can show me some time,” he whispers.

“You sure? Because we really don’t have to, Buck. I kinda thought when you told me you’re asexual, it meant that sex is off the table.”

Bucky shakes his head. “It’s not, not entirely. Like I said, I don’t care for it physically, but all those things you just said – I like that too, you know. It’s kind of romantic.”

Steve nods, but there’s a slight crease between his brows. “Were you… you made it seem like it’s something you’d never be interested in.” Steve asks, voice low. “Were you testing me?”

“Maybe,” Bucky admits quietly. “I needed to know what to expect. And you were so understanding, so wonderful about it, Steve…” Bucky blinks, his eyes suddenly stinging with hot tears, as guilt and shame washes over him. He inhales and exhales a shaky breath. “I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know these things about me and I needed to know how you felt about it because it really fucking sucks when someone dumps you, or worse, cheats on you because you didn’t wanna fuck them, okay?”

“Oh, Buck,” Steve’s expression softens then. He brings up a hand to cup Bucky’s cheek and presses their foreheads together. “I’m sorry that happened to you,”

Unable to hold back, Bucky bursts into tears, and Steve pulls him closer, lets him bury his face in his chest and cry until he’s all out of tears. “You okay, sweetheart?” Steve whispers, rubbing his boyfriend’s back soothingly.

“Yeah,” Bucky rasps.

Steve puts his hand under his chin and tilts his head, then presses his thumb under Bucky’s eyes, wiping the last tears away. Bucky sniffles and mumbles an apology, which Steve dismisses with a soft peck. He starts talking then, pouring his heart out to Steve, telling him about how he’s been hurt in the past and about his insecurities, and how he tries to ignore them because he trusts Steve and loves him.

Steve listens, giving him his undivided attention, never interrupting and never taking his eyes off Bucky even when the brunet looks away, embarrassed about his rambling.

“Okay,” Steve says in the end. He cups his cheek, rubbing his thumb along it gently. “It’s up to you, then, Buck, whether you want to or not. Maybe you should think about it. Take your time, okay?”

“Maybe…” Bucky bites his lower lip nervously. “Might take a while.”

Steve shrugs. “We’ve got time.”

“And if I don’t want to?”

“That’s okay, too. I thought you wouldn’t when we started dating, right? Nothing’s changed as far as I’m concerned.” He smiles a little. “It’s not gonna change how I feel about you, ‘cause I’m crazy about you, Bucky. I’d be pretty fucking dumb to let you go over something like this.”

Bucky nods slowly as he registers the words.

Steve smiles at him then, in that open, honest way he does, eyes wide and brows twitching upwards and it’s there in that expression where Bucky finds what he’s been looking for, the much-needed reassurance that makes all his doubts disappear.

He breathes out a shaky laugh and nods again, mostly to himself this time. He leans in and kisses Steve, his wonderful, thoughtful, endlessly kind and caring boyfriend, who kisses him back, long and lazy and slow.

“I love you,” he says then, because he’ll never get tired of saying it, and hearing it back.

Steve sighs happily. “I love you, too.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Some more notes:  
> a) I've written Bucky as a sex-positive asexual, who's very loving and affectionate and craves intimacy, because that's how I headcanon him.  
> b) His insecurities don't stem from his sexuality, he's confident about that, but from the fact that he's been hurt by people in the past. Just to make sure that much was clear.  
> c) I loved writing ace!bucky and all the non-sexual intimacies in this fic, and I found [this post](http://steveandbucky.tumblr.com/post/134526075569/nonsexual-ways-to-be-intimate-with-someone) very helpful for that part.
> 
> I'm really nervous about whether I did a good job with this! I hope you liked it and I'm excited to see what you think of it, so please leave a comment! :)  
> 


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